Heels of Steel in Jurassic World

jurassic-world-bryce-dallas-howardLadies, think of the most comfortable pair of heels you own. Not your favorite pair, no. The most comfortable. I, personally, try to design my cocktail party outfit around my taupe-colored slingback peep-toes because they’re as comfortable as heels can be, and I’m sure I won’t be in tears by the end of the night.

Now imagine you’re in an amusement park filled with dinosaurs, one of which is literally hunting you down. You’re wearing this comfortable pair, and you’ve got to run and jump through dirt, mud, and some dino-feces here and there. I don’t know a single woman who would keep her shoes on at this point.

Please explain to me then, Director Colin Trevorrow, how you could possibly expect us to conceive that Bryce Dallas Howard’s character, Claire, would actually survive the whole jurassic ordeal wearing her nude pumps. I mean, without even a single twist of the ankle. And, let us not forget, she also outruns the T-Rex.

Where can I get these shoes? I’ll take one in every color.

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